You heard me right – infertility sucks! No matter what the reason, or even if there is no logical medical reason behind it, it sucks.
For those of us that want to be parents more than anything, the struggles with trying to conceive take a toll us. It doesn’t matter if you’ve already had children or are on your way to being a first time parent. It even affects those around us – our family and friends. The want – the need – to produce a little human being takes over our lives and for those of us in the struggle, it often feels out of our control.
We do everything we can. We take our temperature every…single…morning…at the same…exact…time. We buy numerous amounts of ovulation tests hoping, praying, that we’ll see that surge that tells us that we might ovulate (maybe). Not to mention the boxes upon boxes of pregnancy tests that we can’t resist peeing on forcing us to buy more. And don’t get me started on the empty pill bottles…
We know that we’re struggling when conversations that would normally have sounded gross or too intimate become common and are talked about around strangers that practically turn green when they overhear a discussion about cervical mucus consistency or the detailed analysis of your last period.
In the meantime, while we women struggle through heartbreak after heartbreak with negative pregnancy tests even after everything we’ve done and how long we prepared to get here, our partner struggles too. They get to deal with our roller coaster of emotions and even worse so when we’re amped up on hormone pills and/or injections.We go from “I can do this!” to “This will never happen!” to “Screw this I’m done!” in nano seconds just to start all over again.
They feel helpless and they try oh so hard to comfort us and at times we’re simply inconsolable. And they too, find themselves stunned at how well they’ve come to learn the female anatomy and how it works – and perhaps even learned more about their own anatomy as well (MILLIONS of sperm per ejaculation, are you serious?!).
Yes, the struggle is real, my friends. But perhaps the real struggle is not giving up. Sometimes it sounds like our easiest option, as heartbreaking as it sounds. Each day we continue to fight just to have our hopes and dreams dashed away, that option becomes more viable and sometimes it’s for the best. But for those of us not willing to give up, like me, we press on and hold tight to that hope that someday soon we’ll have our little miracle.
I want to wish you, whoever you are, the best of luck in your own struggles. This journey was never meant for us to experience alone. Where ever your path leads you, I hope it is to happiness whatever form that may be.