Took a test…and then it started

It never fails… you wait and each day that passes you think, “this could be it!”. You finally decide to test (again, if you’ve given into temptation) and within hours after testing, your period starts.

That is exactly what happened to me this morning.

I had a feeling because my breasts got even more sore just yesterday. But, I couldn’t resist in testing and seeing that horrible BFN (big fat negative) again… took a nap since I didn’t get much sleep and when I woke and went to the bathroom, I wiped and there it was. I heaved a heavy sigh and put in the tampon as my heart sank.

I’m trying to look on the bright side. The medicine worked. I ovulated and for whatever reason we didn’t get pregnant and so my body is doing exactly what it’s supposed to. I’m now shedding my lining to start anew.

I called my doctor to let him know what is going on and as planned, we are going to try one more round of the Femara starting on cycle day three and I’ll take that for five days. On cycle day twelve I’ll go in to monitor my follicles to be sure the Femara is working and when they are ready, I’ll trigger shot with the Ovidrel and try again.

If this next round doesn’t work, there are two possible options…we talked about adding other injections to the mix such as Gonal-f but there was also talk of moving up to IVF. I’m not sure what my doctor will recommend.

On one hand, with the success rate of IVF, I’m almost tempted to just go for it but on the other hand, if these meds are working, maybe I just need a little boost.The longer I hold out on IVF, the more cost it is. I hate decisions…

While I’m obviously disappointed (mostly because I was hoping to surprise people with the news on Christmas if I did get pregnant), I do acknowledge that this was only my first round. I’m not losing hope like I had so easily before and I know that it is in part because of the great doctor I’m working with. Also, my husband is very supportive, at least as much as he can be.

On a lighter note: at least my period will end before Christmas! I won’t have to worry about running to the bathroom every half hour to make sure I’m not leaking or anything.

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